Some time ago, I saw somewhere where it was boldly written;
“may you attract someone who speaks your language so you don’t have to spend your life time translating your soul”
I want to believe we already know what the statement means. Well, the question that popped into my head is- ‘Can we change people?’
As a lady who is considering the possibilities of saying ‘I do’ to him, you already know he is a smoker and a drunkard. You believe he will become a better person. The truth is he will become a better person as long as drinking and smoking is involved and you will be the one supplying him his favourite wraps and bottles.
Young man, you already know she is a top slay Queen. You know that her dressing is incomplete if she doesn’t leave her thighs and cleavage open for the admiration of everyone that cares to look but you imagine she would dress properly once she is married.
The honest truth is if you marry her that way she would feel that you love her for who she is which is exactly the way things should be.
What am I trying to say in this sense
- Do not get married to someone with the hope of changing that person. You can never change an adult. They will choose to adjust their lifestyle if they find you deserving of it.
- .Do not marry someone who values the marriage more than he/she values you. Not all relationships leads to marriage but hey! its not enough reason for you to flirt around. If you find yourself hurting from a previous relationship, you don’t have to carry that hurt down to your next relationship.
- Do not marry someone who thinks marrying you is a huge favour to you.
- Do not marry someone who you constantly have to remind that you are the head of the house or remind to tell you I love you. A particular tribe comes to mind as I write this but I’m not here to mention names.
- Do not marry someone who does not respect you.
The kind of partner you choose to spend the rest of your life with affects everything in your life. Your mental health, your peace of mind, your love inside you, your successes, your everything and most importantly, your children.